summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
