i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She even gives head with a lisp.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
