I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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