I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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