Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize