You're my little dorito
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
