I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
