i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
