Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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