i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
