At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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