Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize