i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
