sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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