friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
