her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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