guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's like iHOP with fire
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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