omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize