A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
