Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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