Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
