Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
