This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
