her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
