So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
