btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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