dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
