I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
