True but thats because hes a fetus.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
