i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
