so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
