What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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