It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
