I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
