Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
