were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
