just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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