i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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