I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
