...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
