i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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