I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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