JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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