This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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