I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I want is dick and wine.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
