my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize