my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
