What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
