not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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