Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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