ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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