He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize