i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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