Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My feet surprised me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
