So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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