just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
