No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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