Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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