If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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