Nicole vs. Life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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