All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
