i would punch a child for taco bell
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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