I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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