Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
