White coat. Heels.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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