Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
