dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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