you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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