She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
