I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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